Demolishing the Need-to-be-in-Control-Monster

This morning when I woke up, I was filled with dread. Dan was heading to Tokyo overnight for work-related meetings for STP and I was going to play "single mom" of two kiddos for the first time since Niko was born. In addition to that, I knew that four women from the Tokyo congregation were coming up to help spread the word about the center, but I hadn't heard any details beyond that... What time were they coming? Did I need to go pick them up at the train station? Were they going to be looking to me for a game plan? Would I have to fake my non-existant tea- and coffee-making skills? I had heard two of them spoke English, but how well did that mean? What if my Japanese wasn't good enough to communicate? What if Kai and Niko had "a day" today? And, as it was snowing again, and Niko is sick, was I going to be expected to go out and help distribute fliers or was I going to be staying at the center? Were we eating together or was I on my own for meals? I was driving myself crazy and headed into depression day number three. Not an awesome way to wake up.

We said good by to Dan by 8:30 a.m. and I put my big girl shoes on... no getting around it today, I had to just do my thing. And thankfully the first (perhaps most important) question was answered as I walked in the door of the center. Mrs. Sato (whom I hadn't seen since last Wednesday) thankfully was in the office and told me the ladies from Tokyo were arriving at 11:30. OK. So I need to occupy Kai for an hour and a half and get Niko to sleep for a little bit in his car seat. I could do that!

So when 11:30 rolled around and the women walked up the stairs, I breathed a sigh of relief to meet them. The English speakers were VERY good and the Japanese speakers were patient with me. They had all their plans worked out and I chased Kai and Niko while they did their thing. Apparently they are hosting a "café" tomorrow, inviting the community to come in and see the space and take a quilt if they need one (much like our version of an open house, but "fancier" with tea and cookies... our old church here in Miyagi used to do that too when they'd have their annual festival. Maybe it's a Japanese church thing?) So they walked around the neighborhood and handed out fliers about the café and the center, inviting people to come. I stayed behind and played with the boys since it was snowing pretty heavily at that point.

Kato-san, a woman in her late fifties with a quick smile, was one of the two English speakers. She got done first with distributing fliers, so she and I got to practice her English a little bit. She lived in the US for about 3 1/2 years and was thrilled to speak English with me. It was nice to have someone to reference my Japanese phrases with... so far we haven't had anyone to talk with much here. Kai made good friends with her and walked back to the hotel for lunch (I drove since I had Niko's car seat and he was headed back to nap-land soon anyway). Kato-san said Kai didn't stop talking the entire way home! This was a big deal to me, as Kai has been refusing to talk to anyone and will physically turn away or hide from people who talk to him. He finally found his footing and is closer to his usual boisterous self. He even learned and used a new Japanese phrase, "Matta, ne!" (See you later!) Definitely an answer to prayer. I need my little guy to be actively involved too!

The other English speaker was Takahashi-san. I'd place her in her mid-thirties and I immediately liked her. She's nearly a peer, I guess, but she was very gracious and balanced well my following the conversation in Japanese with filling in where I missed. She has a good intuitive sense about that. I so much appreciate that quality in a person. I got the impression that she, in particular, was intrigued by Niko. Finally for the first time this trip, I've really felt welcome with my children (not just on display or a nuisance). I really needed that.

We ate lunch at the café on the first floor of the hotel where we're staying. The pilaf was SO good. I'll definitely be revisiting that dish again. They had curry on the menu as well as a few other things, so we'll have to try the café out again later this trip. After we ate, the ladies went back to the office and I took the boys upstairs for the rest of the afternoon. Kai settled in to a movie and I played with Niko. It was a nice, laid back afternoon, spent in the warm confines of our hotel room... I'm not going to lie, too many hours in the spacious but cold office heated by kerosene heaters that let off fumes that give me headaches isn't my favorite thing in the world, but it's part of Japanese life. When we walked into the office this morning it was 4 degrees C (that's only 39 degrees F, for those of you without a converter handy). Brrrrrrr!!!!

So then the real fun started. I got the boys ready to go pick up the women to go eat dinner together. We, as usual were running a few minutes late, and I knew I had to rearrange the car seats to accommodate the women in the van. But for some reason that is STILL a mystery to me, the sliding door would NOT open. I initially thought it was frozen shut, but that didn't seem to be the case. I tried manually unlocking it, I tried opening it from the inside, I tried pulling my entire weight on the outside (fearing big time that the handle would break off --not a far fetched fear, as our car that we had when we lived here did that very thing and cost us over $100 to fix!) But NOTHING would open the door. Plus I had to put Niko in the very, very back row, so there was a good deal of me grunting and tugging and stepping and stretching over rows of seats in the van to get the car seat base installed and then get Niko's car seat actually snapped in place. In the dark. With Kai commentating the entire time. Oh my word, heaven help me if they had a security camera on the parking lot... I can hear the hotel staff busting a gut...

And then the ladies, who had been waiting outside for an extra 15 minutes in the cold, all had to climb in (with their luggage, no less) through the passenger-side door over the seats, one of whom ended up in the back row with Niko; two squeezed next to Kai and then the one who speaks no English "navigated" for me. It was ridiculous. I was completely embarrassed, but totally mystified why in the WORLD the door won't open.

So once we all finally got situated in the car, we set off to a (for lack of a better name) "tiny-eatery village." Which happened to be in the tsunami zone, so there were no stop lights, very few street lights, and was incredibly dark. Dark, that is, until you turn the corner and then there's a ton of red lanterns and a Christmas tree made with fishing apparatus and flashing Christmas lights. It was pretty impressive. There were a dozen or more small restaurants (each seating 15 people or less) each specializing in different kinds of food, including ramen, tuna dishes, Korean, sushi, udon, and even a shot bar called "Stray Sheep" (I joked maybe we should set up camp there and hand out the center's fliers to the lost sheep!) Apparently there are a few of these "villages" in town... I'm now on a self-appointed mission to try as many of these places as I can. Tonight we ate at the udon vendor and seriously... the BEST udon I've ever had.

I think the coolest part about these little restaurants is that many of them are tsunami victims that have found a way to make money for their families as the city recovers. The udon guy, for example used to work in a shark filet shop (a very prosperous industry, as I understand it) with his father when the earthquake hit. They managed to escape the tsunami, but their business was completely washed away. He studied how to make udon and opened this shop. By eating and spending our yen there, we can support the recovering economy of Kessenuma and touch individual lives. Definitely done with the chain restaurants as much as possible now that we've finally discovered these (yet another benefit to having native-speakers come help out - they can ask the right questions for us... and get the answers that a Japanese person would want, not what the presumed answer a gaijin would want!) It was great to talk to this young man - he was only 6 months younger than I am - and learn parts of his story. I hope that perhaps we could develop a friendship with him... he's married to a Chinese woman and has a toddler too. I cannot wait to bring Dan to meet him (and I'll do a blog dedicated to the art of making udon with pictures... it was pretty cool to watch!)

Then after we finished dinner it was climb back into the car time (we ended up putting Niko in through the hatchback, over the back seat but fought with the handle of his carrier twice... and he screamed and screamed most of the way home, poor little guy - and poor ladies who had to be subjected to it!) Then it was my task to drive to the hotel in the pitch black to which we didn't exactly know how to get. Crazy. Kind of scary. But we made it and I somehow safely navigated back to our hotel... where the parking lot was FULL! Thankfully the hotel guy came out about then and he opened up a spot for me to park. Then it was monkey OUT of the car with Niko's carrier from the back through the front and make sure Kai didn't get run over by the 3 other cars looking for a spot to park all at the same time. We managed to get up to the room without too much to-do after that and the boys headed to bed without too much of a fight. Yay!

Holy smokes. What a day. But all my worries and stresses that I woke up with were taken care of and my mood was totally uplifted by these wonderful women that traveled all the way up from Tokyo. I can't wait to see what adventures and blessings tomorrow brings (aside from trying to figure out what is wrong with the van door...!)